The Bengali Lingo !

• A is for Apish (Office). This is where the average Kolkatan goes and spends a day hard(ly) at work. If he is in the Government he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 5. It's a hard life!
• B is for Bhijon. (As in teli-bhijon) For some reason most of the Bengalis don't have good bhijon. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time. The effects of this show in the city.
• C is for Chappell. This is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying 'go to bed, or Chappell will come and take you away.'
• D is for Debashish. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debnath and Deboprotim thrown in.
• E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali uses eeesh 10,089 times every year. (That's counting eeesh and other eeesh-ish words).
• F is for Feesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh, what feeesh is theeesh!'
• G is for Good name. Every Bengali Boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Shontuda, Chonti, and Dinku. While every Bengali Girl will be Paromita or Protima as well as Shampa, Champa and Buri. Basically your nickname is there to kill your good name.
• H is for Harmonium. The Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!
• I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!
• J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2 million jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all look exactly the same!
• K is for Kee Kando. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).
• L is for Lungi. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt. Everest.
• M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of Formula 1 race drivers.
• N is for Nangtoe. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!
• O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)
• P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.
• Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.
• R is for Robi Thakur. Many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This allows everyone in Kolkata to frame their acceptance speeches and walk with their head held high and look down at Delhi and Mumbai!
• S is for Sardarjee whom Bengalis are very envious of because he is born with a semi-monkey cap on.
• T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.
• U is for Ambrela. When a Bengali baby is born they are handed one.
• V is for Violence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will shout and scream and curse and abuse, but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.
• W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is under water and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!
• X is for X mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up.
• Y is for Yastarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali.
• Z is for Jeebra, Joo, Jip and Jylophone.

2015 , you shall be missed !!

What was a better place than Louis Khan Plaza @ IIM Ahmedabad to kick off 2015- The most amazing place on Earth; its simple yet so grand, confined yet so expansive ! It leaves you with profound memories for a lifetime!!

It was a roller -coaster year - the last semester at B-school, the convocation, corporate life, cajobportal, "Accounting for People Who Think They Hate Accounting" and almost importantly, Ms Dhwani Singal - our Chief Motivation Officer !

 









 

The year that saw my little bundle of joy growing every day, bit by bit, into an addiction , so much that I now cajole Sonia to not visit her "maayka" as I would have to miss Dhwani so much . Time flies- from being that little girl in the baby cot who used to cry and clamour for milk and then doze off to sleep again to that adorable angel who would urge me to take her in a stroller to Old Campus on college or to meet Vinmay, her bestie on campus to go to terrace to meet her pigeons when back home at Kolkata. " Chalo, bhaagengey (lets run) to "Papa, please office mat jao" to "Papa, please horse ban jaao naa " to "mujhe cake chahiye"  From one who would cringe at the thought of being sent to school - "Aaj chutti hai" in May to desperately missing and clamouring for school even on a Sunday in Dec, she has changed so much !! She's a 'goondi' now but has enamoured us so much that we are willing to pay her 'goondi tax' in form of cakes, chips and chocolates

 





Its time for me to  acknowledge the role played by this Rishra girl in the year that went by. First she stepped in to see me sail through my MBA with elan( Life in MSH 901 with her and Dhwani was certainly way way better than Dorm 27). Then as she morphed into a digital women and fitted so seamlessly into the shoes of COO @ cajobportal.com when Ayush had to move to Mumbai for his Industrial Training @ Unilever



 



So much to say for the pillars in my life- Mom, Dad and Didz- they have seen the dark shadows inside and yet stood by like a rock for all seasons. I distinctly remember that one feedback from my batch mates on my resilience and I owe it completely to Mom - I can face anything and everything in the world but not the disappointment in her silent eyes.





On the personal side, the year that saw the culmination of me also staying away from the comfort zone of home and returning to Kolkata to keep hearing - "You've matured  a lot".

You see so many facets of human behaviour that it leaves you so much wordly wise. You lose your innocence , stop trusting people blindly, try to get into the real intent of human behavior ( there were people who walked in life to fetch a job for themselves and stepped out once they had secured it) and they say you have matured.

Realized that no matter what you do and how you do it, you will get your fair share of criticism !! The  masterstroke by Genna Rulone quite summed up a lot of what happened this year

Coming to the professional side



B-school was 'baptism by fire' - quite aptly put as "Sacrifices for 1 year; Branded for Life"- it was certainly not easy to quit a job for 1 year , spend Rs 2150,000 and enter an educational institution to learn, unlearn and re-learn. But God was kind and somehow managed to pull it off !! In-fact with a lot of elan !! A Chartered Accountant, living in a world of NPVs and IRRs suddenly realised that there is so much in life- Serotonin, Amagdyla, Yognidra, Game Theory, Porter's 5 Forces, 4Ps and the 5Cs

 



It was an year of epic moments, an year of with people like Mr Birla whom I had hitherto only seen in newspapers and television. Who would have imagined such high profile people randomly walking into life and gifting a rare pic, a new dream, a strategic direction !!

 



An year that saw me complete internship at HUL- a dream company ever since I started studying for CAs. Learnt so much in the course of deciphering alternate Forex Management strategies for this FMCG behemoth

 



GMCS, It would so often shake in my boots when I had embarked on the GMCS journey a few years ago; mugging scripts 'by heart' to execute on stage and wondering what the students would think about me. Now things are more under control, I feel that can deliver them value worth Rs 367 (5500/15). So when even after a tiring week, I do look forward to these random interactions with young minds



 

From running pillar to post to have this printed by any Indian publisher for even Rs 99 to having it launched globally for 60$ by an iconic US based publisher , Accounting for People Who Think They Hate Accounting" w !!as one memorable part of the year that went by !



 

Can't thank Deepika enough for the 3 fabulous hits she delivered !! And most importantly, for taking up the cause of the depressed in our society (Online ), acknowledging that she has gone to those lows and then bounced back. Such bravado in a society where more than one-third Indians are depressed but keep it under wraps. The reason - society can boast of blood pressure and sugar levels but confuses a chemical imbalance in the brain for madness

 

However, if it was that one word that I would dedicate 2015 to, it would be @cajobportal



For cajobportal, it was such a magical experience; people who like Alchemists came into life and gave this little initiative such a huge form

I remember how I would be super tired in course of a long and tiring day at IIMA that started at 845 AM and ended at 1030 PM. From literally dozing off in the class to returning home and spending 4 hours on the cajobportal B-Plan, never knew from where this energy emanated. Have cut short exams - end term exams in 1 hour instead of the stipulated 2.5 hrs so that I could leave the exam hall and pitch for cajobportal in front of some external guests.

Was it easy to be a David pitched against the Goliaths - Mafoi Randstads and Michael Pages? To learn to hear infinite 'No, we already have an existing vendor'

Was it easy to be a player who gave no kickbacks and rather refused business  than be unethical in a rather shady industry

Was it easy to have the likes of the co-founder of naukri.com, WIRC Vice Chairman, ex Group CFO of RPG, IIMA Dean-Alumni , IIMA HR Profto agree to be on our Advisory Board !

Was it easy to have a client list which included Unilever, ITC, Britannia,Cipla, Pirama, Olam India, HDFC,Goldman Sachs, DSP Blackrock, Fullerton Credit, IndusInd Bank, Kotak Mahindra Bank,Titan, Tata Motors, Dalmia Bharat, Schneider, Schindler, Caterpillar, Amazon, Linde, Bharti Airtel, TCS, Landmark Group, Indorama Group, Tolaram Nigeria, Dunia Finance !!

Was it easy to secure jobs  across the world with aggregate CTC of Rs 5 crores for users?

Was it easy to understand technological jargons - APIs and Javascripts, so as to deal more effectively with IT vendors and not allow them to take you for a ride

Was it easy to attract employees who would believe in your vision , who would work from home in different parts of the country, be it Kolkata or Kerala ?

Was it easy to chase media and get our 'bootstrapped' startup covered amidst frenzied funding chasing every Tom Dick and Harry  in the market

Not sure but it was exciting, exhilarating ...........every bit of it !!

Thank you God for such an event packed year !!

2015 , you shall be missed !!

Go, Whatsapp the world !!

Between this tweet in August 2009 and the $ 19 billion offer by Mark Zuckerberg in February 2014, the snubbed job-hunter worked on his epic comeback , alongside Jan Koum and created a product that transformed the world around.

Look at how the ‘'No Ads, No Games, No Gimmick” Whatsapp has transformed life around you. Be it personal or professional reasons, it has transformed the way we function.

A decade ago, who would have imagined that a vegetable vendor in a Tier 3 Indian city would Whatsapp images of his stock and clients would place orders, if they sensed the stuff to be fresh. Today, it’s a reality



After re-launching cajobportal.com in its new PHP avatar last fortnight, we shockingly realised we didn’t have “Share on Whatsapp” feature on our pages. It is an imperative, we told our developer, irrespective of the cost. “Please fix it ASAP”

Who would have imagined a state government banning usage of mobile data to prevent a belligerent Hardik Patel from galvanising an entire community on Whatsapp!!

You will find college goers saying “Whatapp me when you reach the auto stand. I’ll reach in a minute”. You find lovers, blinded by Cupid during their courtship period, crazily Whatsapping away each other, obliviating the hitherto ubiquitous Reliance phone. You use WhatsApp emojis to express yourself (An emoji of two beer mugs clunking does a better job than 'Cheers!'). Those SMS Blackouts on Festivals are now irrelevant in the Whatsapp era. You remain in touch with your school and college friends on those ever popping Whatsapp groups, even though you may keep them in mute mode. And finally you flaunt that you are in conversation with that senior HR on Whatsapp, such wonderful is your personal rapport with him/her.

No wonder, Whatspp has become a synonym for Disruptive Innovation. No wonder, the venerable Nandan Nilekani stated that India is witnessing a “Whatsapp” like movement in the finance sector due to emergence of payments banks, e-sign, IMPS and other technology-related revolutions.

We’ve innovated for centuries- the Button on our shirts, Ludo, Chess and Snakes & Ladders, the first iron-cased and metal-cylinder Rockets, Shampoo, Algebraic abbreviations, Trigonometric functions, the Zero, Decimals, Cataract Surgery, Plastic Surgery. Innovation is in our DNA !!

Look at the world around and you will find mavericks Whatsapping away each moment.

On February 2, 1993, post the 13 hour meeting at ICC, Mr. Jagmohan Dalmia, euphoric after having just moved the World Cup to India for a second time and forced England and Australia to surrender their veto power, commented “I wonder with this intelligence how you ruled us for 200 years”.[1] The iconic administrator, no longer with us, single handedly transformed the face of Indian cricket.

Ranganathan, 'the father of the sachet revolution, unleashed an era where his Cavinkare sachets completely obscured those costly shampoo bottles.

In the late 90s, employees of a company would moor over the 35-40 pages of the appointment ads for managers @ Business India. It was the only official source of new jobs, the rest being a closely guarded secret, privy only to select consultants. Dropping hard copy of CVs at a consultant/company’s reception was the accepted norm. Then we saw online start-ups like Naukri and Monster; redefining the rules of the game.

Who would imagine that the Indian government would mull banning usage of Gmail and Yahoo by its employees for official communication[2]; who would have imagined our political leaders and civil servants tweeting away their perspectives?

Who would have imagined that you would search for prospective bride/grooms on Facebook, check for mutual friends and enquire; that you would read your friend’s comments on the latest movie release before deciding to buy the ticket; that a company would ask for your LinkedIn profile before they rolled out the final offer letter.

Who would imagine that it is difficult to imagine even a single a day in our lives without access to data!! For many, Life w/o Internet is worse than life w/o food .

Mass adoption of the Uber and Ola app revolution forced the auto leader Anand Mahindra to take note of their presence as a potential threat to vehicle sales.

‘Kapalabhati’ and ‘Anuloma’ changed the morning routine for millions of Indians; Baba Ramdev created a Rs 2,000 crore empire, surpassing Jyothy Labs and Emami and prompting an amazed ‘CLSA’ to comment “Wish you were listed, Patanjali Ayurved”[3]

Joseph Schumpeter had predicted a century ago that business could survive and stay ahead of the curve only with innovation that was disruptive, not just incremental. The rest would just perish, like Ambassadors, BSNL landlines, tape recorders, and Nokia phones.

Innovation, thus, is the only way to survive and stay ahead on the curve !!

If you haven’t updated your POS system, you’re leaving yourself open to a competitive disadvantage. If you’re not taking social media seriously, you’re open to a competitive disadvantage. If you’re not Googling each and every customer you have, you may be missing some big connections you could use to accelerate your business

I like the way Thomas Friedman says it:



It’s time to decide whether you want to Whatsapp or simply get Whatsapped!!

Sincerely Yours,

cajobportal.com™ Knowledge Centre

References

[1] http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/3734038.stm

[2] http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Govt-bans-use-of-private-email-for-official-communication/articleshow/46438095.cms

[3] http://www.business-standard.com/article/markets/wish-you-were-listed-patanjali-ayurved-clsa-115082800265_1.html

An entrepreneur’s skirmishes on the marketing turf!!

“Dear Sir/Madam Greetings of the Day!! Trust you are doing well.

Recruiting the right finance professionals can be one of the most challenging, yet equally rewarding aspects of the company's human capital leaders. This realization was the precursor to the launch of cajobportal.com. Yet, you will appreciate that the entrepreneurial journey is beset with suo-moto approaching people in the remote hope that 5% of them might have an unfulfilled need which your product can offer. Hence please pardon me for my unsolicited mails

I am a student @ IIMA and have a startup – cajobportal.com – India‟s first recruitment website exclusively for Chartered Accountants “

This is how dozen of clichéd emails originate in my mailbox and are whipped off the back of gmail.com horses to the stables of those awe inspiring CFOs and HR Heads.

Hardly 1% of these emails see the light at the end of the tunnel; the rest die a premature death in the spam folders! And yet, we commit the heinous crimes of sending them!

 Similar is the fate of those calls to the Board lines

 “Hi, I am Anurag from cajobportal.com. Can you please connect me to Ms.  Pallavi Amin in HR?” “Purpose?” comes the terse reply from the receptionist. After you explain, either she hangs up or transfers the line to some perpetually ringing number or the HR picks it, listens to you for 2 minutes and then says “Sorry, I am heading into a meeting. Can we talk later? Or “Sorry, we currently are not looking for another finance hiring partner”

The question is WHY? Why this relentless pursuit of chasing people when they are simply NOT interested?

 If you are good, won’ they come automatically?

 Isnt it hara kiri‟? Each denial is literally a slap on the face, an assault on the ego and downgrading of your esteem!! As an IIMA grad, is that why we came here for?

 Jon Buscal‟s quote “Marketing is a commitment and not merely a campaign” fits in so aptly here. 

You remind yourself that the world existed without you and will continue to exist even without you.

 Life existed even without an I-Phone or a bottle of Coke or a naukri.com or a zomato.com! And so would it even without cajobportal.com!

Bitter truth but a realization that gets you going! So it is up to you and ONLY you to convince the world that it would be a better place if its citizens adopted what you had on offer.

You pull up your socks and are now willing to face rejection!

You are ready to market yourself to the world.

Google throws up 1.85 billion results in 0.40 seconds when you search the term “Marketing”. It is the most glamorous word that can excite the human imagination.

You wonder what could be that magic marketing mantra that could make 3000 Indian company sign up for cajobportal.com.

“Non deficere”, the Latin equivalent of “Never Give Up”! This to my mind is the fundamental tenet of marketing. Once this is in place, the 4 Ps and the 5Cs simply land in place.

 Who knows, you might end up selling refrigerators to Eskimos.

As a Chartered Accountant before PGPX, for 10 years, I have spent endless hours on those dull and drab Excel sheets that refused to talk. In Marketing, the best part that I now relish is that rush of dopamine in your brain when I talk about cajobportal. com

From focusing on rejections, you now start focusing on those 1% conversions and the Lifetime Value from the relationship that could run into millions of dollars.

You realise that a marketing pitch is simply an emotionally charges stimulus, a promise to a customer’s amygdala, that the anticipated gains are far in excess of what he/she is paying. It is this perpetual drift between the affect and the cognitive that you need to conquer. 

A fulfilled demand brings smiles and a brand relationship. You might need to slog yourself to the hilt to fulfil the craziest of requisitions for a Chartered Accountant is put forth.

If you goof up, your doors to the consumer’s sub conscious are closed forever. Yet if you do succeed, henceforth you have no competition. The episodic memory will bring you an impulse purchase next time. You will become a habit. And that’s the goal

Prof Sahay taught us that marketing, eventually, is all about moving from the functional to the emotional value. The best of marketers don’t exist in the consumer’s mind but in his/her heart.

Warm Regards

Sonia Singal & Anurag Singal

www.cajobportal.com